glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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