I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
