I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
