So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
