Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
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My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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