I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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