So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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