she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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