Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize