babies were throwing up all over the place
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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