You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
