I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
