I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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