Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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