Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
id be glad to
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
