well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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