Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
