You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize