"it" just moved
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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