he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
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He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
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He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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