Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I understand Curling. That high.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So many bounce houses so little time
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There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
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Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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