i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
