it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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