apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
