i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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