even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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