covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
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