He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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