I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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