Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize