She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
