Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
