R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
