I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
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I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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