You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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