from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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