Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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