He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
