Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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