i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
