I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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