He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
