She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize