I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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