this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We are all done wearing pants today
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
