# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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