Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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