Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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