I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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