so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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