Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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