I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
