i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
