how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
