I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The uberlube is also flammable
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
