Just fell off a train. Bad.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
